What is leading your life?

November 26, 2020

Reflective practices are really useful to help see what you have been creating in your life, but most interesting from where have you been creating? To see the motivation behind what you are doing.

I’m guessing that like me, you have a dream or an idea about how you would like your life to be.

And that at sometime in the future, when all the starts align in your favour your dream life, will materialise. You just need to work that little bit harder or smarter to get there at some point in the future.

But being really honest,  how many of us really manifest that dream life?  And if we do,  are we truly satisfied or do we go searching for more? Do we take that time to even question what we really want our life to be about? And where is that desire coming from?

When you are able to examine the motivations behind your actions, you may begin to realise that they do not come from a place of true purpose or Dharma but rather from a place of compensation.   

You may begin to realise that your motivations for your dream life are in fact compensation for an unconscious belief that you hold about yourself.  That you are trying to make yourself feel whole and resolve the psychological tension from the unconscious belief.

When this happens you may find yourself needing to prove something, For example, you may hold a deep rooted belief that you are unlovable.  And so go into the world (unconsciously)  to prove that you are loveable.   You actively seek love in everything you do.

But,  your unconscious belief system is so powerful that it won’t actually let you experience the deep love and connection the you crave for very long.  After all, you are unloveable, right?

And so you begin to self-sabotage the situation to prove that the unconscious belief of being unlovable is actually true.   We can be so clever in the way that we self-sabotage that at times we don’t even realise what has happened – after all your ego wants to keep all this in your unconscious.  So we blame others and the events in the world for being left unloved.

I know that this sounds completely insane, but believe me this is the condition of the human psyche at this moment in history.

So once you are able to bring your unconscious beliefs into consciousness, you begin to realise that everything you do in your life has been orientated towards proving that you are loveable. You can begin to see that your underlying motivation for your whole life is to feel loved.   

This particular belief is one that I have had to wrestled with for a long time.  Looking back I cringe at the choices I made in pursuit of feeling loved and resolving this belief.  And it lead me no-where, just more pain and suffering through repetition of the same old belief.

It would be very easy to spend your whole life trapped in these types of pattern or Samskaras. Not having the insight to realise why you never really created the life you longed for.

You can pass from one failed relationship to the next or find yourself locked in unsatisfying relationship to feel loved. Is this the life you would like to choose for yourself?

Being unlovable is just one unconscious belief that motivates behaviour and outcomes.  We all have a handful of them leading us throughout our lifetime.

If you stay locked within your unconscious belief system, you will never experience true freedom or contentment, which is the true goal of Yoga.

In my opinion, living your life trying to fulfil unconscious beliefs will, on the whole, will create an experience of lack and disconnection. Worse still, you be left with a sense that there was something else, a bigger more expansive life that you could have lived but didn’t know what or how.

So what’s the alternative? To live a life lead by something bigger than your unconscious belief.  Something outside of beliefs and the egos creations.    

That is a life created by your True Self and your True Purpose.

To get there you simply turn your attention inwards and become witness to your behavioural patterns.  You need to spend time noticing your current reality and the beliefs you have created. You may even want to find a transformational coach or someone who can reflect back your behaviour in a non-judgemental way.

I’m not suggesting this is an easy thing to do.  It takes tremendous effort , focus, self-awareness  and courage in an age where we are actively encouraged to numb out and turn on to what is outside of us.

So in the end it boils down to a simple choice on how you want to move forwards in your life.

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